School Attendance

Some children find going to school so difficult that it begins to affect how often they get there. It can start quietly — tummy aches on Monday mornings, tears at the gate, asking to stay home — and build over weeks or months.

Schools and local authorities sometimes call this 'emotionally based school avoidance'. It is a description of what is happening, not a diagnosis, and it is not the same as truancy. Most children in this position want to be able to go; something is making it feel impossible.

• Physical complaints — headaches, stomach aches, feeling sick — that ease once it is clear they are staying home.
• Difficulty sleeping on Sunday nights or before school days.
• Clinging, tears or anger at drop-off.
• Worry about specific things: a lesson, a teacher, playtime, the toilets, being away from you.
• Coping well at weekends and in holidays.
• Holding it together at school and falling apart at home afterwards.

Physical symptoms are real even when worry is behind them. If you are unsure whether your child is unwell, the NHS has advice on when children are too ill for school, and your GP can help.

There is usually a mix of things making school feel hard and things making home feel safer. These might include worry or anxiety, friendship difficulties, a learning need that has not been spotted, sensory overwhelm in a busy building, a change at home, or a specific event that went badly.

Understanding the mix matters more than finding a label. Write down what your child says, which days are harder, and what happened just before a difficult morning — that record is genuinely useful to school.

DfE statutory guidance expects schools to build strong relationships with families, listen to and understand barriers to attendance, and work with you to remove them — taking particular care where absence is linked to mental or physical health or SEND.

• Ask for a meeting early, rather than waiting until attendance is very low.
• Ask who your key contact will be, and agree how you will keep in touch.
• Share what you have noticed and what your child has told you.
• Ask what adjustments are possible: a quieter arrival, a trusted adult at the door, a safe place to go.
• Agree a plan, write it down, and set a date to review it.

If your child's distress is severe, is affecting sleep, eating or everyday life, or is getting worse despite support, speak to your GP. School may also be able to involve their mental health support team, school nurse or educational psychologist.

1. Department for EducationStatutory guidance
   Working together to improve school attendance (Current edition)

   Statutory for schools, trusts and local authorities. Sets the expectation of a 'support first' approach: listen, understand barriers and work in partnership with families — with particular care for pupils absent because of mental or physical ill health or SEND.

2. Department for EducationProfessional guidance
   Mental health issues affecting a pupil's attendance: guidance for schools (2023)

   Non-statutory summary of responsibilities and examples of effective practice where social, emotional or mental health issues are affecting attendance. Written for schools and for parents.

3. Department for EducationStatutory guidance
   SEND Code of Practice: 0 to 25 years (2015)

   Sets out the graduated approach — assess, plan, do, review — which applies when a pupil's attendance difficulty reflects an underlying special educational need.

4. National Institute for Health and Care ExcellenceProfessional guidance
   Social, emotional and mental wellbeing in primary and secondary education (NG223) (2022)

   Recommends a whole-school approach built on trusted relationships, and targeted support for children who need more.

5. Education Endowment FoundationResearch summary
   Working with Parents to Support Children's Learning — guidance report

   Evidence on building effective, respectful partnerships with families — relevant because attendance difficulties are almost always solved jointly.

6. NHSProfessional guidance
   Children and young people's mental health — advice for parents

   Plain-English advice for families, including anxiety and how to seek help through a GP or local mental health services.

7. Anna FreudProfessional guidance
   Resources for schools and colleges

   Free UK materials on whole-school approaches to mental health, including attendance and anxiety.